Obama: America’s first Asian President

Obamadonna and child

Obamadonna and child

Barack Obama is Asian.

Whoa!!!! you say. WTF!?!? Who you zoomin? You know Obama’s Black.

OK. If he looks “black” he is black. Yeah, he can shoot a lay-up from the top of the key. And he’s got that thug thing goin’ on. It’s got to be the “ghetto” in him rising to the surface like sweet cream.

Barack's earliest ghetto memory

Barack's earliest ghetto memory

However modern science instructs us in the inevitability of the below equation:

Mom

Mom

dad

dad

Barack Jr

Barack Jr

Taking this equation into account, it is clear that Obama Jr. is not white. Nor is he “Black” per se. Although he is blacker than he is whiter. So even if one were to attribute ALL of his egotism, deceitfulness and other nasty attitudes (and they are legion) to his black genetic portion, mathematically, he should still be only 50% unbearable.

But Obama is still black you whine, enough to be our African-American hero. You’re right. Here are a few photos of a black family just like Barack’s. I won’t make you sit through all million of them like he did. Asshole.

Lena Horne

Lena Horne

Lena at home!

Lena at home!

Yikes! It's Jeanne Kirkpatrick! Ooops Wrong post!

Yikes! It's Jeanne Kirkpatrick!

Dorothy Dandridge

Dorothy Dandridge

Dorothy Dandridge

Dorothy Dandridge

Modern science also suggests nurture plays a strong role in the development of character and personality.

Parenting, environment, family and peer relationships are important in the development of a child. Even Satan didn’t start out bad.

Obama's happy family

Obama's happy family

Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961, two years after it became a state. The population in Hawaii was 75% Asian of various types and 25% white. African-Americans were as rare as hen’s teeth. When he was six years old he was swept off toIndonesia to live with his new Indonesian step-father. He attended Christian ummm or err maybe uh Muslim or, maybe, home school. Obama was a chubby kid and probably would have fit in better at P.S. 42, the Bronx, but he had to learn to make friends and get along. Ann took a lot of pictures with the Indonesians. That’s probably why Obama became so comfortable with them.

Barack at home with Lolo, mom and baby sister

Barack at home with Lolo, mom and baby sister

Mom in the village

Mom in the village

And he’s calm. Like a Buddhist. Or maybe Beelzebub.

See how calm he is!

See how calm he is!

He didn’t learn to be calm like that in a madras or even in Chicago.

Finally, he got back to the mainland where he could meet up with some homies.

B.O. with his ghetto homies

B.O. with his ghetto homies

He ran with a rough crowd, although it wasn’t really in his nature.

Obama with the other homies

Obama with the other homies

Look at those pects!!!

Glossy, big pects!

Glossy, big pects!

How glossy and puffy. I’ve never seen pects like those on a black man, or even a white man. He must be an Asian!

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3 Responses to Obama: America’s first Asian President

  1. spock says:

    Was he really born in Hawaii?

  2. Cinie says:

    Sure he’s not an alien?

  3. spock says:

    Cinie…good one. Wouldn’t surprise me.

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